The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
