I wannas sexs uuuuu
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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