This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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