Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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