And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
