Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
