The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
