Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
