i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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