Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
