Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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