Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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