I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
