Is it because I queefed?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
