so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
