Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
