i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
