My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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