I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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