that's an acceptable place to lick
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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