well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
