i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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