Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
