those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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