Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
