We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
