I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
