guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
