Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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