Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
