8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
