Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
