The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
