i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
