Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
