Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Don't make out with my wife yet
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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