when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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