You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
