please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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