A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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