Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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