I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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