She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
