why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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