Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
