Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
