after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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