Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
