if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found puke in my bra..
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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