i permit you to call me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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